Why is it ok to degrade people online? Is it because no one can see you? Would you do it if your mother could see?
I am following a blog by Tamar Fox on Jewcy.com. She is a sassy young orthodox woman living in Nashville. She is blogging about her encounters with the crossroads of being a faithful Jew and living in the pop culture of America. I love it. She places some great questions out there and wrestles with her challenges as a Jew in popular America.
Because she is orthodox she has comments placed by orthodox Jews criticizing her ideas. I am all game for criticizing ideas. What I find difficult to take is the belittling of her in the open forum. There is one person in general “who seems a bit uncomfortable with his/her Judaism” and criticizes and belittles Tamar.
Why is this ethical? Why is this frum? What makes him think he has all the answers? If he does not like the writings why doesn’t he just say what he does not like and argue on ideas?
Ethical speech is required for a strong and healthy community. Tearing down other people will only destroy the “third” temple of the Jewish people.
Slander
June 18, 2008 at 9:13 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: ethical, slander, speech
What am I supposed to do with that?
June 12, 2008 at 1:15 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: ethical, menche, speech
The other day I was talking with a friend. He is a self-described menche (a do gooder, a person who always does right to others). We were talking to a guy about mowing lawns and stuff. This guy lives in a neighbor of 15 houses and he is the only one left who does his own lawn, the others have a lawn care company cut the grass. He is proud of this and loves to sit on his tractor and take a moment out once a week.
He got to talking about the new mower he bought He went to Sears and paid $1700 for this tractor. He likes the guarantee and he loved his old tractor so he is excited to get the new one.
Not much after he tell us this does my friend say ” Can you bring it back?” He says that the tractor is past technology and for just 4 to 5000 more he could buy a professional tractor. “They are way better” he says.
All I could think of was “thanks but no thanks.” After someone has purchased something and told you how excited and how great he thinks it is why would you say that he should bring it back and get something else. What was he thinking? I think that my friend should have said “cool, I just got a mower last year, one of those professional ones and I love it. Isn’t it great to get out and mow and not have to think about anything. blah blah blah blah.”
No so much the menche this time …
24 Hour Gossip Fast
June 2, 2008 at 6:17 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: gossip, hara, lashon, mizvot, speech
Do you gossip?
Do your kids gossip?
Have you ever heard gossip about you?
Could you stop talking about others for 24 hours? Is it easier to stop eating or drinking for 24 hours?
If I said I could not go without a beer in 24 hours would you question if I had a problem? If I said that I could not get away from my TV for 24 hours would you think I had a problem? My computer? Gambling?
Try not to talk about others for 1 day. Have a 24 Hour Gossip Fast. Challenge yourself. When you do it, you will have accomplished two mitzvot: 1) Not to wrong any one in speech (Lev. 25:17) and 2) Not to carry tales (Lev. 19:16).
Thank you Rabbi Telushkin for this idea in his Jewish Values book.
Here are a couple links to articles to read further:
Stopping Lashon Hara – A primer on how to raise our children to look at the positive and speak well about others. – Aish.com
The Power of Speech – Members of Congregation Chabad of Mineola NY are at wits’ end. – Chabad.org
Speech and Lashon Ha-Ra – the laws that are most difficult to keep, that are most commonly violated
even by observant Jews, are the laws regarding improper speech. – jewfaq.org
