January 28, 2010 at 9:48 pm (family)
Tags: family, identity, Judaism, son
My son is 10 years and in 4th grade. He was asked to a project in class about heirlooms. It is interesting because we do not have many heirlooms in our house.
He picked a blanket my mother made and I use as a comforter on my bed. He never met my mother since she passed away when I was 16 so this is the reason he chose this item. In this project he was supposed to identify the significant aspects of his heritage and culture. He was supposed to write a paragraph about his family and their traditions.
He elected to talk write about the fact that my wife’s family comes from regions of Germany, Poland and Russia and that my family came from England and Wales. That is all he would write about. We asked him if he was missing a significant part of identity, especially since we never talk about those countries. He said that he did not want to talk about it. He did not want to talk about being Jewish.
I found this interesting. It made me a little uncomfortable. I did not want to pry too much. I did not want him to feel defensive. But … what is it that makes this 10 year boy not want to talk about his families primary place of traditions? Is he embarrassed?
When you were little, were you embarrassed about being Jewish? Did you avoid discussing it on purpose? I am just curious.
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January 17, 2010 at 5:33 pm (conversion)
Tags: book, conversion, Judaism, Sally Srok Friedes
The New Jew – An Unexpected Conversion is written by Sally Srok Friedes.
I really connected with this book. I could believe how much of her experience I could relate with. I sat and read the book over a couple of days – which may be a record.
Sally starts off with the funeral of her mother-in-law and she remarks about how important the mourning rituals in Judaism are. During this chapter my eyes welled up and I immediately felt like I understood. My mother died when I was 16 and I always felt something missing in my mourning. There was not much there. However, the Jewish rituals have always attracted me and seem much more comforting for those with a loss.
She retells many of her experiences with Judaism as an outsider and have many parallel stories I could tell. Many of them made me laugh and cringe at the descriptions. For example, the description of the expectation of people that I raise my children Jewish even though I could not distinguish what was particularly Jewish about them or with what they practiced. I liked to refer to these people as the “pick the yid out of the TV” people. The only Jewish thing I could see was the ability to identify other people who were Jewish. I am being a bit crass but I am sure you have met people like this.
Other stories of her wrestling with Judaism and never quite feeling like she could be on the “inside” no matter what she did were much like what I encountered. I am surprised at how much energy she would put into trying and then be repelled by the slightest thing to return several years later to try again.
Overall, I loved her passion and positive insights into Judaism. I really felt happy for Sally when she finally described going through her conversion. I think it would be fun to sit down and talk with her.
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December 30, 2009 at 10:24 am (Torah, mitzvot)
Tags: Bible, kosher food, teaching
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December 27, 2009 at 11:06 am (Ethics, mitzvot)
Tags: choice of words, good speech, lashon hara, lashon hatov, speech
Do you practice Lashon Hatov? Do you actively try to identify good things to talk about when discussing things related to other people?
I have been reading Rabbi Telushkin’s “A Code of Jewish Ethics Vol 2” subtitled ” Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.” There is a section on Lashon Hatov and it has got me thinking. I like the idea.
I always find the negative so much more difficult to do than the positive. This is not to say that I do not try to avoid Lashon Hara (evil speech) but Lashon Hatov seems a worthy addition.
Lashon Hatov is not about giving compliments. Good speech is about trying to find good things to say about other people on a regular basis. For example, when you are with your spouse at the end of the evening, instead of discussing the days events that the children went through. Pick something positive and specific about each child to say. “Jacob had a really difficult day at school today but he was able to talk about it when he got home and we were able to work through the problems.” This is in contradistinction to “Jacob came home complaining about school and he was picking on his sister and it took us forever to calm him down.”
Or when you are talking about your boss, finding good things to say will go a long way to the commandment of “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Can you do this as much as your complain about other people? Let’s give it a try.
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December 22, 2009 at 9:34 pm (Ethics)
Tags: Ethics, firing, letting go, no job
Have you ever been fired? Have you been somewhere where they “laid people off?” Terminated. Given the pink slip. Let go.
It is all so cowardly. That is why there are so many words to describe it. People are afraid to call it what it is.
The capital has run short. Expenses need to be brought down to meet the lack of revenue. Something needs to be cut so they decided to “reduce headcount.” You know “to shrink to grow.”
Don’t get me wrong. The people were not let go without any compensation. However, they were escorted out the doors without being given the time to pack anything. They were told their stuff would be sent to them. “Here is your folder, follow me to the door. Good bye.”
It seemed so “legal.” The lawyers were out. The executives came up. The systems were all shut down. It was lock down.
All the excuses were great. “Well what did you expect they need to protect their stuff.” “What other options did they have?”
I think that when it comes to people, we have a collective lack of creativity on how to solve problems. Just make it quick and do not show any emotions – that will be better.
Here is what I think should have been done ethically. I am not saying that this is easy but it would be more ethical. Approach the people that you would like to let go and offer them the package. Show them the problem and let them make an honorable decision to leave. I think you could find 100 people in the organization to leave under those conditions.
What would be the appropriate ethical way to let 100 people go in a 1500 person company?
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December 9, 2009 at 9:57 pm (Jewish, Torah)
Tags: book, Elie Wiesel
Wise Men and Their Tales – Portraits of Biblical, Talmudic, and Hasidic Masters by Elie Wiesel
I am not sure what to say about this book. I am plodding my way through and reading about each person. I am learning new things and perspectives.
I have not stopped reading but I am not getting inspired. I have not had many “ah ha” moments. I think that is what I want right now and I am not seeing it here.
Elie Wiesel has some great thoughts about our Biblical family. He has an interesting perspective and a wealth of knowledge to bring to each.
Has anyone else read this? What do you think?
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December 6, 2009 at 12:53 pm (Ethics, Prayer)
Tags: blessings, son, wisdom
My son Jacob is 10 years old. Here are his thoughts on blessings that boys like him, who run into difficult things in life, should consider.
- Ned walked home from school and he found that his house was messy. He said a blessing that he had a house.
- Frank wanted to have pasta for dinner but his mom made pizza. He made a blessing that he had food.
- Joe walked into the room and found that his toy was broken. He made a blessing that he had toys.
- Ted lost 3 $1.00 bills at school. He made a blessing that he had money to afford different things.
- Bob wanted to have a bird for his birthday but he got a dog. He made a blessing that he had a pet.
- Sams grandmother died yesterday. He made a blessing to keep his family healthy.
- Ed did not want to go to school. He made a blessing that he had an education.
- Jake got sick. He made a blessing that he had medicine to cure it.
- Ari’s mom yelled at him. He was thnkful to have a family.
- Kent finished his homework on a laptop. He made a blessing about having technology.
- Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha olam … to have a world to live in.
- Jacob
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November 29, 2009 at 10:09 pm (history)
Tags: book, Ilan Stavans, Resurecting Hebrew
I am reading Resurrecting Hebrew by Ilan Stavans. Stavans decided to do some research and exploration of modern Hebrew, the people involved and the history. In doing so Stavans goes to Israel and meets with different experts and historians. The book documents his travels, interactions and thoughts.
I was expecting the book to be dull and academic but I am enjoying it. Stavans manages to do a nice job giving the information wrapped in a story about his travels. I like to read about the people he meets and the places he goes. I think it makes the story more interesting.
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